Try to grasp the fact – a very hard thing to do – that in the spiritual life ‘feelings’ count for nothing, that they are no indication of our real state; generally speaking they are just the opposite., . . You are perfectly right when you say that the first thing to do is ‘to give up your own will.’ Why not aim at making God’s will alone yours in every detail of life, so that you would never desire or wish for anything except what He willed, and look on every detail as coming from His hand, as it does? Such a one is never ‘put out’ by anything — bad weather, unpleasant work, annoying incidents, they are all His doing and His sweet will. Try it, though it means high perfection.
COMMENT: It is clear from the Fr Doyle’s notes that he had absolutely no natural desire for the hard life that he lead. His diary is so refreshingly honest – he wanted to eat cakes, he wanted sugar in his tea, he wanted more sleep, he didn’t want to pray. He was often tired and sick. Yet he put aside his feelings, and exerted his will and begged God for His grace. Fr Doyle is an excellent role model for us when we don’t feel like doing what we know deep down we should do.
Again, an essential bit of advice found above in the passages, that most of the time feelings are not the compass for the way we want to go, what we should do, how we should respond, etc. Feelings of compassion and generosity, charity, etc. yes, they certainly help to motivate us at times, mainly because those feelings, too, were ones that Our Lord had, and all the saints, but feelings that tend to bring out our selfishness, or self-centeredness are not thoughts to be heeded or acted upon if we can help it. God inspires our minds, strengthens our will, in order for us to do what He wants us to do, and often our feelings rebel- it’s God or me…and we know that God must come first.
Father Doyle, we, like you, must struggle with those feelings which might not be aligned with God’s plan for us. Please pray that, with grace, we manage those feelings that close us in on ourselves, and bravely say, “Yes” to God, as did Mary, St. Joseph, and all the saints. We might have to wrestle against selfish feelings, but ultimately, peace will return.