Constant urging of Jesus to do “hard things” for him, things which cost. I shrink from sacrifice, but I know well He wants it, and I can never be happy or at peace otherwise.
Reparation
February 1, 2023
Last night I rose at 1am and went down to the church, renewing before the crucifix my desire and promise absolutely to surrender all human comfort and embrace instead every possible pain and discomfort. With my arms round the cross, I begged Jesus to give me His courage and strength to do what He asks from me. I realised that if I prayed when tempted to give in, grace would …
January 27, 2023
22 January 1911 My dear loving Jesus, what do you want from me? You never seem to leave me alone – thank you ever so much for that – but keep on asking, asking, asking. I have tried to do a good deal lately for you and have made many little sacrifices which have cost me a good deal, but you do not seem to be satisfied with me yet …
January 22, 2023
I see more and more that self-indulgence even in lawful things brings only unhappiness; and I realise I can never be truly content or at peace till I make my life a crucified one, and this always. COMMENT: Fr Doyle wrote these words on this day in 1914. His advice was not for everyone – he was specifically writing about himself in his private diary. Counter-intuitively, he found that whenever …
January 15, 2023
During the last three nights of the retreat I slept on the floor without feeling any inconvenience after, though I woke very often on account of the pain. This is the first time I have slept this way on more than one successive night. COMMENT: Fr Doyle was just one of the many holy men and women – including saints – who slept on the floor at night. For example, …
December 20, 2022
Since I became chaplain I’ve grown very lazy and on mortified, the cause of much unhappiness and remorse to me. My excuse is that my present life is so hard and repugnant that I need these little indulgences. Then I think of Blessed Charles Spinola, for example, amid the horrors of his prison, practicing great austerities, fasting, etc which make me ashamed of my cowardice. The Holy Spirit is constantly …
December 13, 2022
I believe that Our Lord is asking for victims who are willing to suffer much in reparation for sins, especially those of priests. I know some who go so far in their generosity as to do heroic penance, feeling asked it…I know the result has been wonderful grace and burning desire to suffer and always to suffer for Jesus’ love.
December 8, 2022
The great light of this retreat, clear and persistent, has been that God has chosen me, in His great love and through compassion for my weakness and misery, to be a victim of reparation for the sins of priests especially; that hence my life must be different in the matter of penance, self-denial and prayer, from the lives of others not given this special grace – they may meritoriously do …
December 1, 2022
This evening I had a dispute with Father B. Instead of giving in to his wishes and allowing him to remain in the dugout I lost my temper and said bitter things. This has humbled me very much, showing me how far I am from having to meek spirit of Christ and my unwillingness to be “walked on”. Jesus insists on these things: (1) that I must let him do …
November 1, 2022
My God, this morning I was in despair. After some days of relaxation owing partly to sickness, I resolved to begin my life of crucifixion once more, but found I could not. I seemed to have lost all strength and courage, and simply hated the thought of the life. Then I ran to You in the Tabernacle, threw myself before You and begged You to do all since I could …
October 22, 2022