Every grace we get enlightens the understanding and strengthens the will. When the understanding is enlightened, we have the awful alternative of cooperating with or rejecting the inspirations of grace. This we are either doing or not doing all the day long. God will not compel us, He will not interfere with our freedom, it must be our own choice. St. Paul was struck down when he received the inspiration. But he did not lie there as so many of us do. He got up and asked God what He wanted him to do. His will was strengthened because he accepted the grace that was offered. Let us do the same. From neglect of Thy holy inspirations, O Lord, deliver us.

COMMENT: “We have the awful alternative of cooperating with or rejecting the inspirations of grace.” Think about these words of Fr Doyle… This is the price of freedom. God wants us to love Him. But love cannot be forced. God does not impose himself on us. We are free to choose Him, or reject Him. But it is not a once-off choice – we choose to follow Him or not each moment of each day. So long as we do not freely choose to reject Him in a big matter then our souls remain in a state of grace, and our task is to train ourselves, with the help of grace, to continually adhere to God’s holy will in all aspects of our lives.

Today is the feast of the Conversion of St Paul. Saul, as he was originally called, was one of the greatest persecutors of the early Church. God revealed himself to Saul in a dramatic moment on the road to Damascus. But He didn’t force Himself. Saul still had a choice. St Paul became the great Apostle of the Gentiles – neither loneliness nor shipwreck nor prison could prevent him from journeying to spread the Gospel. Imagine how impoverished the early Church would have been if Paul had ignored God’s grace. 

But January 25 is not only the feast of the conversion of St Paul. It is also the anniversary of the start of Fr Willie’s retreat prior to his final vows as a Jesuit in 1909. For sure he was a good novice and scholastic. He had high aspirations towards sanctity at the time of his ordination. But he had some imperfections and a somewhat inconstant fervour. He seems to have advanced much by the time of his ordination and and especially during his famous long retreat in 1907 a few months after his ordination. But it was during the retreat that he started on 25 January 1909 that we can see evidence of the definitive and final changes that set him on the road as a tireless apostle, mystic, victim soul and ultimately dying as a martyr of charity. Writing on this day in 1909 he says:

I feel there must be a change now in this retreat, an absolute surrender to all God wants. 

Like St Paul, Fr Willie surrendered to what God wanted of him. May we do likewise.